Wrestling With My Own Consumerism
Sometimes I have to just say something like "This will do nothing for me except bring another thing into my home."
I get this way with computer stuff. It's the new Apple hotness or a monitor or a keyboard. Stuff like this is endlessly tinker-able, endlessly adjustable. Odds are if I buy that mechanical keyboard I have had my eye on I will really like it for about a week. Then it will just become "my keyboard", the same way that my current mechanical keyboard is just "my keyboard." It's predecessor was also just "my keyboard" which is why I replaced it 2 years ago. That one is currently in a plastic bin in my basement, with something like 3 others.
I don't need any more stuff. I really truly don't. My kids do. You should see how fast my kids grow out of clothes and shoes. I never second guess buying my 2 year old a sweater or pants. Toys... they have too many toys. Plenty of those came in from relatives, though, and what can you do? But I really don't need to get a blu ray player and start collecting physical media again, no matter what the internet tells me.
Books are a tough one. I like having books. I wish I could find more time to read. Books feel like an investment in the mind more than a consumerist impulse, but, when I am being honest, what proportion of their time do those books spend on the shelf? I still have textbooks from college. I graduated 14 years ago. I don't think I have ever once opened Plato's Republic since freshman year, and I have two copies. It's like these books are aspirational. I want to be the kind of person who owns a lot of books, so I own a lot of books.
We're mostly settled into our place after moving in last year. The absolute deluge of things that accompany a new home is really something to witness. Still, I can't help but feel that I would like an upgrade to this shitty couch that I am sitting on, and I know my wife wants new dining room chairs. I keep saying when the kids are older, and a little less destructive, then we'll spend some real money on nice stuff. Really, I know we're going to end up with chairs before the year is out unless something bad happens. If we're going to do that then why not the couch.
Maybe there is a hole inside of me that I am trying to fill with crap. Or maybe I am just an American and this is how I am programmed. Regardless, I am wrestling with myself.